Let’s Impeach Trump So Mike Pence Can Be President!


Donald Trump: A buffoon with not many interests other than himself. Mostly incompetent. Gifted at connecting with angry voters who aren’t sure what they’re angry about. Highly ineffective at passing legislation.

Mike Pence: A charismatic capitalist with not many interests other than his bank account and his religion. Mostly competent. Gifted at nodding behind the President during speeches. Effective at passing legislation.

Among the modern Republican Party’s draconian agenda are these gems from their own platform PDF:

  • “Government cannot create prosperity, though government can limit or destroy it.” Funny, I thought The New Deal was the government successfully creating prosperity and building hundreds of highways, creating millions of jobs.
  • “President Obama and his party will set a record of being the first modern president ever to leave office without a single calendar year of three percent economic growth.” I’m not only amused by the GOP’s inability to update their official platform 188 days after Trump took office (they still think Obama is president), but also their Texas Sharpshooter attempt to pretend that previous Republican presidents such as Bush were totally way better for jobs and the economy than Obama. Except when the Republicans’ deregulation of the banks and housing market crashed the entire planet.
  • “Traditional marriage and family, based on marriage between one man and one woman, is the foundation for a free society and has for millennia been entrusted with rearing children and instilling cultural values.” Yes, for some reason, of all the things that could be the foundation of a free society (such as the Constitution, democracy, or regulating corporate greed), the marriage of the eggplant and the donut is of utmost value. If two women get married to each other, surely we oppressed straight people will never be free again.
  • “We assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed.” *sighs* Unborn child = fetus which cannot exist outside of the female reproductive system, and this fetus is more important to Republicans than innocent death-row victims and feeding impoverished (born) children. Republicans have voted dozens of times to cut essential programs for the poor. They pretend to care about fetuses before they’re born into children, but after that, they can starve. Seems legit.

Now, that’s only four examples out of hundreds of hilariously incorrect statements made in their platform, and I found all four of those examples by skimming down to page 13 of 54. I’d suggest skimming it for yourself by tapping here.

These are goals that are certainly obtainable by the Republican Party. They hold the Presidency, the Senate, and the House, and their Vice President can break 50-50 ties in the Senate. So what’s the holdup? Disorganization and incompetency.

You can only do so much with an elected position, and you can only buy so much with money you get from book deals after you leave congress. Because of legalized bribery in our political system, congress is designed to reward those who take the most bribescampaign donations 😉 from corporations and special interests. Therefore, the federal government is mostly composed of men and women who are incompetent enough to value money and power over serving their constituents. Absolutely no person with a healthy and functional brain will vote to cut healthcare and food stamps for millions of poor people so that they can buy another yacht or golf club membership with their shiny new tax break.


We know that all of the Republican Party and most of the Democratic Party suffer from gross incompetency, but disorganization is not always the case. The Republicans were able to achieve vast amounts of terrible legislation under President George W. Bush, without the embarrassing loudmouth fake populism of Donald Trump to take care of.

If we’re going to have a right-wing president, we want someone who is so stupid that he or she can’t actually get anything done. If an armed robber broke into your home, would you rather she was a trained sharpshooter, or some idiot barely knew how to disable the safety?

Trump is so stupid that he has trouble getting a lot of terrible things done, and this is great. Yes, he’s an international embarrassment, just as our last Republican president was. Yes, he’s dismantling the EPA and heading our planet towards self-destruction. Yes, he’s succeeded at doing any number of terrible, awful things. I’m not claiming he hasn’t, and I’m sure many more awful things are to come. My claim is this: Mike Pence or any other competent Republican would have scored touchdowns in many places where Trumpicus dropped the ball. 

I give Trump credit for failing in the same way that I would give a young child of terrorist parents credit for being too stupid to figure out how to drive his parent’s car full of bombs onto a bridge. Pence is the competent terrorist who also has the car full of bombs, but knows how to drive. Trump just crashes into a tree and then blames it on Hillary, lol.

The Russia allegations against Trump are either true or they aren’t. There’s plenty of suspicious evidence to suggest that collusion did happen between the Trump campaign and the Russian government in a way that would benefit Russia over the United States. Of course, rather than talking about the climate, healthcare, or jobs, the media (including progressive media) has latched onto the Russia story almost 24/7. While children starve and we bomb the Middle East endlessly, enriching defense companies, the corporate right-wing media like MSNBC spends its time red-scaring everyone with anti-Russian racism and propaganda. (Read: fake news.)

Let’s suppose the corporate establishment media is correct and Trump did collude with Russia. Okay, bad. We don’t like that. The President of the United States should put the United States first, always. That’s his or her job. So what do we do next? Impeach him and get Mike Pence, the competent and farther-right version of Trump on the job?

Mike Pence could score anti-poor, anti-climate, and anti-American legislation with ease as compared to Donald Trump. Like George Bush, but with extra electrocution for gay people.

The entire establishment media is owned by six mega corporations. Corporations, existing only to enrich themselves by definition, want as many draconian tax breaks as possible for themselves. Mike Pence would be a godsend for MSNBC’s parent Comcast, or CNN’s parent Time Warner. These crooked media outlets are dedicated to Trump’s impeachment so that we can get on with more important things like tax-breaks for corporations while our roads crumble, elderly people die, and children starve.


Impeach Trump, get Pence, and watch the toilet our planet is stuck in flush even faster.



Author: Alijah

Author for madindies.com.

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